Tuesday, September 27, 2011

LISTENING TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PLAYERS

The following comes from "Coaching The Mental Game" by H. A. Dorfman.  It is quite possibly the best coaching/teaching book I've yet to read.  Chapter 7, " Communication -- The When, Where, How, Why -- And Who!" is worth the cost of the book alone.  Here but a small portion of the chapter dealing with listening:

Listening is the most neglected language skill.  Those in positions of power are particularly neglectful, because they tend to believe they're responsible to tell, rather than hear.  The two responsibilities -- skills -- are not mutually exclusive.

Carl Rogers, a preeminent psychologist, wrote, "The biggest block to personal communication is man's inability to listen intelligently, understanding, and skillfully to another person."

The coach who really listens provides the athlete with a sense of participation in the team's well-being.

Not everything I hear from athletes is true.  Some will take the opportunity to be heard as an opportunity to "blow smoke."  They are trying to hide more than they're trying to reveal.  Still, if I keep someone talking long enough, the smoke often dissipates, revealing what I need to know.

Listening doesn't imply loss of control for a coach.  It implies a gain of athletes' confidence in your respect for them.  A desire to create more effective relationships.

It's imperative to help the athlete to be a better listener.  When talking to the entire team, the coach should never allow any whispering or asides between athletes, Such behavior is unacceptable.  first, it is disrespectful.  rude, if you care for the term.  Second, valuable information may be missed by those not engaged by the words of the coach.